Recently, I’ve received several queries from folks interested in Escorts who provide kinky services. In fact, with the film production of “fifty shades of gray” to be released in February, we will probably see more possibilities to not only discuss kink more openly, but probably also see more Escorts offering BDSM services.
I know some people feel as though it’s already controversial to discuss escorting in the United States, and further, it’s even more controversial to, (gasp), place escorts in the same category as Dominatrices, but I say that any escorts who enjoy and practice kink activities, at the very least, could be considered Kink Providers. Examples of distinctions between these job titles exist all over the world, especially in areas where sex work, if not overtly legal, is at least, more generally accepted. As you can see from thispage for example, prostitution is legal in half of the world. Oddly, it claims the US as being “limited legally” which gave me a chuckle since clearly we are barely even there.
In any case, in Australia and France where I lived for awhile, being able to find a good professional was as simple as contacting an appropriate service to assist you in your career choice. I’m not sure how things are these days, but a quick internet search brings up a cute site called Escorts and Babes Out of Oz that offers a wide array of choices all over the continent. In France, I did not find much BDSM and escort combined, but was able to find several directories quite easily. Generally, I gotFetishgirls.com which seems to have a lot of serious play. Locally to SF my top hit was Slixa, which has other locations and a BDSM “Verification” process for their kink providers, which can assure a bit more authenticity sometimes.
Of course, there are lots of options out there and choosing a professional is not as straight forward as it may seem. Building skills to find an appropriate match is imperative. Here are a few suggestions to finding a well suited kink provider:
Know What you Want: Or even what you don’t want! Starting with three basics that you want and one thing for sure you don’t want is great, but what if even that approach is too daunting? Look at images on websites. What compels you to make contact in the first place? Did you like the look of the lingerie, and if so, do you imagine it on you or the provider? What kind of porn do you watch? What do you imagine when you masturbate? What definitely is a “boner kill” for you? Do you imagine yourself on top, bottom, or both? Finding honesty with your provider so that you can fully engage in what turns you on will build trust and safety so you can have fun. They can tell you politely whether your interests are on par with their own. Trust them!
Ask Questions Not an interrogation, but like any other professional, you are engaging in possibilities of working together. Be sure to ask the important questions around interests, skill level, if equipment is being use, what quality? and what standards of cleanliness and skill level do they have? Working professionals with ethical views will not be insulted by such queries. They will see you as an informed client who cares, and that is someone we all want to work with!
Take Your Time If you are new to all of this, try not to rush out and grab the first person who looks good to you. Think about your reasons for seeking a provider. Is it for the experience?Is it for excitement? Are you seeking long term exploration? Do you seek a surrogate until you are ready to date again? Different providers specialize appropriately. Take the time to get yourself acquainted with the field and with yourself. Of course, taking the time to seek counsel can be quite instrumental these days. Like matchmaking services, Kink Coaches can help you find the perfect professional for hands on play. Once again, a quick search pulled up a full first page from the US, the UK, and Australia right away!
On a final note, remember that sex is not only a form of recreation, it’s the foundation to life, and an excellent tool for self discovery. Whatever your path be at the moment, be good to yourself and those around you. Self care comes in many packages. When you take care of your sexual health, you will be a happier person and a sexier person too.