“Come to the edge, he said. They said: We are afraid. Come to the edge, he said. They came. He pushed them and they flew.”
Oftentimes people conflate the terms “bottom” and “submissive” – to which I cringe because they are distinguishable. Today we will be discussing ten of the top ways of being a great bottom, specifically in Kink/BDSM, (if interested in how to be a better top, go HERE . The noun is a “bottom” and the verb is “to bottom”. A “bottom” is a term originally derived from gay male culture that connotes a sexual positioning preference, generally meaning the one who is the receptive partner, (as opposed to top which indicates the active partner, or switch suggesting giving and receiving), and for our purposes today indicates the person receiving physical activity from a top. Read more
This snappy video encapsulates Gender and Sexuality Studies in one small piece. I kinda love this guy. I keep finding his videos even though I’m not sure exactly who he is. Do you? In any case, he hit the nail on the head for me when he said this “So a biological female can be a man who only has sex with women despite the fact that he’s attracted to both men and women and kind of feels more comfortable in feminine gender roles. That may not be the most common combination of these factors, but it’s certainly not weird.”
Right on. It almost describes me in fact!
Watch this VIDEO to hear all about it.
Controlling one’s mind is a particular pleasure for me, but I also value controlling the body as well. Of course being in charge of both can be a particularly challenging, albeit rewarding, conquest. Read more
I saw a movie tonight that I thought might be interesting because it is written and directed by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, (the youngest from the 90s sit com Third Rock From the Sun about a “gaggle”? of aliens landed on Earth), whose work I have admired since that wacky sit com was on the air. But this is neither a discussion of Gordon-Levitt nor a movie review. What I want to address is what I think this movie is capable of doing. I think that the potentiality of “Don Jon” to provoke heart felt and interesting conversation between, (primarily straight mainstream younger), couples is quite profound. Read more
Hey folks! My name is KL Joy, and I’m going to write a little today about how to negotiate a scene with a potential play partner. Now, I’m not talking about relationships; I’m talking about that first sexy time you see someone in a club and want to get some of their style going on. Ultimately the word negotiation means to communicate openly and clearly what you want and don’t want out of a scene.
As a professional coach who has worked with hundreds of people over the years, one question keeps recurring: “How could I ever tell my (current/future), partner of my desires? S/he would never understand.” I see and understand the dilemma. Societally, we simply do not talk about sex the way we might food, clothing, or reading preferences, so it’s not so easy to say, Read more
What started as a Facebook post now has become a full fledged entry for me as I continue the dialogue around the horrors of what happened with those young women in Cleveland. I have been ruminating for days. Honestly, I am still speechless. I want to flee from my own profession in order not to be associated with such horror. I feel weak and ineffectual. Read more
This is quite possibly the best essay I’ve ever read arguing for more education of the writers who wish to condemn kink and BDSM. Read more
Mary Roach is a hilarious and provocative writer. I love her book “Stiff” on the history of the cadaver, and of course “Boink” has become the sexpert’s staple. Read more
The Power of knowing oneself is to understand the depth of humanity in all its darkness and all its light.
I am a talented and caring “Psychic Waste Manager”. I take all your old matter that has been weighing you down and clean it up for you, recycling it into a bright and shiny newness, allowing you to return to the mundane world with more pep in your step and vim in your vigor!